At times, being honest with yourself can be one of the hardest pills to swallow. It can be hopeless, even hopeful — but once you come out, it can lead to a renewed sense of self. 5 Seconds of Summer‘s Calum Hood seeks to move forward from the pain and it’s all about looking inward on his debut solo album, ORDER chaos ORDER. The 29-year-old singer-songwriter is devastatingly honest and vulnerable, exploring his own heartbreak, pain and occasional self-worth. The 10 tracks see Hood question his life on full blast and wonder about lost loves, harrowing grief and changing desires, giving us pieces of what he describes as “an impressionistic mosaic.”
With effortless heart, Hood worked with Jackson Phillips (Day Wave) in this intentionally open space for the album, bringing a calming aura, sonic openness and cool 2000s rock production. The lyrics, which leave room for the listener to interpret sounds and lyrics in their own way, allow Hood’s album to capture the wild and clarity of healing, leaving puzzle pieces of a mosaic for listeners to feel like they are part of the story, too.
The album opener and the first track he released, “Don’t Forget You Love Me,” is a raw and emotional song that sees Hood reflect on a love slipping away from him. The album, as a result, begins from a place of hopelessness due to the relationship ending and the uncertainty of the future. As a result, Hood gives listeners a glimpse into his new, independent-sounding vulnerability that shines best when Hood’s lyrics take shape amid snapshots of memories he wants to share. He sings, “Instead of looking for a fight / I should have looked you in the eyes / ‘Cause what it really was was me begging.” He continues to mourn a relationship that crumbled under the weight of pain and struggling communication on “Call Me When You Know Better,” which is both about wishing things were different and remembering who they were when everything fell apart.
“Sweetdreams” is described as an afternoon spent listening to crackling vinyl, while “I Wanted to Stay” is all about loneliness. The song sees Hood in a vulnerable state as he seeks connection after moments of exhaustion. Here, after a falling out or a fight, Hood “doesn’t want to leave here alone,” trapped against time, and lacking any sort of peace of mind.
Hood slows things down a little — and for the slow, indie rock track, “Sunsetter,” a song that sees Hood facing a crossroads in his relationship. He finds himself confronting the inevitability of wanting to commit and chase something he can lean on, but also being unsure if the other person even feels the same way. On it, he sings, “What’s it gonna take? / Come with me, sunsetter” and “Just keep this dream alive / And don’t let die.” A song that tries to break waves, Hood sees wonder in it all — love, longing and grief — and finds some hope in the sunset that is dependable. A song that showcases guitar and percussion to evoke yearning, “Sunsetter” feels like the calm in the storm on the album due to its simplicity.
On “All My Affection,” Hood strips it down even further to simple acoustic guitar and his vocals, which take center stage in an album filled with 2000s vibes and old school rock. Here, the singer finds himself wrapped in a soft embrace — a quiet reflection on things. A song that feels like you’re standing in a field of flowers in the summertime, the acoustic guitar buildup throughout the song feels like a gradual progress towards something. That is, as Hood offers all he has to someone, a person quietly devoted or resigned, who may not even notice. A freely provided love is undivided in its honesty, as Hood sings, “So take everything left of me / Anything that you might want / All my affections / All I have to lose.” Ultimately, he’s left to deal with the emotional cost of being the one who always gives, and oftentimes gets nothing back.
But sometimes, we come to learn that we understand ourselves better through other people and, despite the anxiety, heartbreak and hurt, Hood is left wanting to stay present without missing the beauty of one’s journey on “Endless Ways.” Still, Hood remains fervent in keeping his connections alive even when they’re feeling. The dreamy yet nostalgic “Streetwise” sees the singer looking back on his life as a kid, nostalgic for a time one often looks upon. He sings about what feels like a secret, intimate moment in the past when the world couldn’t touch him: “I let my head spin / take all the weight off my shoulders.” The need to escape is ever so real for Hood as he faces the fact that this surrendered moment in time is gone.
In the end, Hood wrestles with anxieties over growing older as he essentially unravels. He has hit a low point after all the hurt he’s felt throughout the album. On “Dark Cricles,” he talks about “laying down at a traffic light” and being afraid of being left behind in this struggle with the loss of someone he needs to feel whole. He describes the “dark circles” under his eyes that follow us into the album’s final track: “Three Of Swords.” He recalls putting “an expiration date on forever,” as he’s finally left to face the chaos and accept that order — blips would be par for the course and would restore emotional and creative balance over time. In an album that Hood has said was “made in a tumble dryer of knowing and not knowing,” ORDER chaos ORDER communicates what Hood’s heart is saying in a way words can’t.
Between frosty hues, “vaporwave” aesthetics and early 2000s computer interfaces to wildlife shots and vast open roads, Hood perused the internet archives to find himself, as the album sets a deeply personal and intentional reflection on Hood’s life away from 5 Seconds of Summer.
Hood captures the emotional rollercoaster that the entire album encapsulates, saying:
“I really resonated with the idea of ‘order, chaos, order’ being a recurring theme throughout my life, and how neither can exist without the other.”
Keep up with Calum Hood: Instagram // Spotify // X // TikTok // Facebook // Website
