FFO: memoirs and biographies, LGBTQ+ community, American Idol season 7
“Do you ever think / When you’re all alone / All that we could be / Where this thing could go?” are lines from the chorus of David Archuleta’s hit single “Crush.” I tried so hard not to like this song when I first heard it, just because I was a moody teenager when it came out and thought that having crushes and being in relationships was lame. But I did like David Archuleta. I wanted him to win his season of American Idol.
For some, like myself, their first introduction to David Archuleta was through American Idol. He appeared on the show in 2008 and won fans over with his beautiful voice and charming personality. Except, he did not win. He came in second to “the other David,” also known as David Cook. While I was sad that David Archuleta did not win, I was glad about the way the season unfolded and couldn’t wait to hear more from both Davids in the future.
But as the years went on, I didn’t hear too much from David Archuleta. This was back before social media became a thing, so it’s natural that I wasn’t too in the know, but still. I saw the video for “Crush,” I heard some of his Christmas songs… Other than that, he was a mystery to me.
Fast forward to February of this year, when Archuleta released Devout: Losing My Faith to Find Myself. I was a little skeptical to read it at first, as I’m not a very religious person. Yet, I wanted to know more about Archuleta’s story—literally—so I dove in.
Archuleta is very open in Devout, revealing a lot about his family. Readers are introduced to his parents, his four siblings, and his grandparents, painting a picture of what it was like to live with them as he grew up. At first, all was well, but then there was distrust, accusations of abuse, emotional instability, and a lack of love that plagued the family. It becomes clear that Archuleta was at the mercy of all of this, and it later impacted his outlook on family and relationships.
Music was an integral part of the family, however, with his parents and siblings all having a knack for singing and performing. Archuleta’s father really zeroed in on the young Archuleta and quickly became a “dad”-ager, driving him to talent competitions and singing auditions. Archuleta certainly had a talent, but as much as he loved to sing, he did not feel comfortable performing and being under the authority of his father. Readers will learn that there was much more going on than assumed when Archuleta competed on season 7 of American Idol, and there was plenty that went on after that affected his career.
Of course, at the center of his family drama and career drama is the struggle that Archuleta was experiencing with his faith. He was raised as a devout member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. This is otherwise known as a Mormon church, with a mission to restore a faith that is centered on Jesus Christ. This is a super basic summary, and Archuleta better explains what the standards and expectations were throughout the book. These standards were a huge problem for Archuleta, as readers come to learn, because he found himself attracted to men.
I have to praise how honest and open Archuleta is in Devout, as he detailed the internal conflict he faced as he tried to make sense of his desires and his faith. He describes how he didn’t know what was appropriate, he didn’t know how to make his desires go away, he didn’t know that how he felt was something that could not be changed… Despite his attempts to overcome his urges, he could not shake his sexuality. It wasn’t until he seriously contemplated taking his own life that he gave himself permission to embrace his true self.
For most of the book, readers might feel sorry for Archuleta or disappointed that he was not able to fully come into his own sooner. They might wonder why he could not stand up for himself, why he let his father get away with so much, and why he could not loosen the clutches of his faith. So, when he finally lets go and leans into his sexuality, readers will breathe a sigh of relief and they will cheer. It is so heartwarming to learn that he is becoming more comfortable with who he is, to know that his family has accepted his beliefs. He comes to terms with the fact that his faith was not doing him any favors. At the end of the book, he reveals that he is still learning and doing his best, but now, he is entering a chapter of his life that he has waited too long to start.
Overall, Devout: Losing My Faith to Find Myself is a heavy read. It can be triggering to those who have faced verbal and emotional abuse, or to those who struggle with their sexuality. Still, a book like this is necessary in today’s society, as there are many people like Archuleta who struggle with family issues, personal issues, and identity issues every day. I mean, I even touch on some of these issues in my memoir, idk, my dad has dementia, which you can find here.
In the end, Archuleta is brave, relatable, and kind throughout this book. He deals with such deep topics in a way that doesn’t feel self-righteous or in a way that makes you feel pity for him. You are right there with him from one page to the next, growing, understanding, laughing, crying… Archuleta will help a lot of people by sharing his own story, and if anything, he will let them know that they are not alone.
Also, “Crush” will always be one of my favorite pop songs.
Devout: Losing My Faith to Find Myself by David Archuleta is out now via Gallery Books, an imprint of Simon & Schuster. You can get a copy here. Find signed copies here.
Listen to the DEVOUT EP here.
Keep up with David Archuleta: Instagram // Facebook // X // TikTok // YouTube // Website
