Sadie Jean confronts ‘Early Twenties Torture’ on debut album

Recommended Tracks: “Know You Forever,” “Somebdy’s Everything,” “She’s Dating My Boyfriend”
Artists You Might Like: Lexi Jayde, Ashley Kutcher, Lauren Spencer-Smith

Shaped by the harsh transition of between being a teenager and becoming a young woman, Sadie Jean spends much of her early 20s struggling to move on — from her breakup, the pain it’s caused and the process of letting go. On her debut album, Early Twenties Torture, Jean bares her soul, embracing the most jealous, immature and insecure parts of herself.

The album opens with “I Tried,” where Jean grieves the end of a relationship that never fully became what it could have been. She spends much of the song trying so hard to make the relationship work. She sings, “I could’ve been someone who listened / Wanted so bad just to make it alright / I could’ve been someone who loved you,” but ultimately, concludes, “But now I’m just someone who tried.” An acoustic pop song at its core, it’s about mourning both the person she lost and the version of herself she became while trying to make space for that relationship.

Who are you when the curtains close and you finally move on? On “Somebody’s Everything,” Jean — who once felt completely loved and seen — now feels invisible and unsure of who they are without that love. It’s the shock, surprise and hurt that compound in her head as she sings, “‘Cause I used to be somebody’s everything / But right now, you’d never know (Right now, you’d never know) / I’m lookin’ at me like I just can’t believe.” She spends the song wondering and pining over what went wrong.

After finding herself slowly dying — metaphorically and emotionally speaking — from a “Slow Burn” that slowly consumes her, Jean forces herself to let go of someone she still loves on the indie-pop ballad “Move On First.” Knowing her ex will move on before she does, she sings, “You’ll take her home and just like that / You’ll pick up where we left / And you’ll fall in love with her / But before you do, just let me move on first.” The song is about wanting time to heal before watching your ex fall in love with someone else. But ultimately, she admits, “I Don’t Know Better” than to love you.

It’s not until she realizes she’s being replaced on “She’s Dating My Boyfriend,” watching someone else love the person who was once hers. It’s not necessarily jealousy she’s experiencing, but rather the grief of realizing that he’s no longer hers. That realization leads her to feel so disconnected from reality on the emotional ballad, “Out Of My Body.” She sings, “Somebody stop me / floating outside of my body.”

She is falling for someone she knows isn’t good for her — and does it anyway — on “The One That I Want (But I Don’t Know Why).” It perfectly captures the confusion, denial and emotional chaos of young love in your early twenties. It’s the track that includes the album’s title, Early Twenties Torture, as Jean describes the kind of messy, complicated relationships that teach you hard lessons about love, boundaries and self-worth. “I’m thinkin’, ‘Oh my God’ / I’m breakin’ every rule that I live by for ya,” she sings.

But ultimately, despite all the pain and heartbreak, Jean admits, “I Miss My Friend.” The heartbreaking piano ballad sees reality hit you, and the separation and desperation crash. She sings, “I wish I never saw this working out / Wish I never let you see me cry.” On “This Time Around,” Jean tries to move on, acknowledging she could never have won that fight, no matter how hard she tried. She hopes her ex, fittingly, will “get it right this time around” with his new girlfriend.

Jean celebrates a lifelong friendship — a best-friend bond that endures — on “Know You Forever.” She remembers moments of closeness, like helping each other through messy nights, sharing clothes and laughing until you cry, and ultimately imagines a future where they still grow old together. She sings, “So, here’s to the years together / Tell me, ‘How could it get better?’ / I look at you and I think, ‘I’m gonna know you forever.'” The song is tender and nostalgic, feeling like a rom-com track that highlights how a friendship can be more powerful and soulmate-like than romance itself.

The album concludes with a sense of hope that is so desperately needed after all the anxiety and heartbreak that permeate the entire project. On “See You on Sunday,” Jean is both hopeful and anxious about dating again, finally letting herself open up to someone new. It’s he kind of song that sounds like a quiet confession at 2 a.m. — honest, raw and vulnerable. After being tortured by her heartbreak and pain throughout the album, Jean is now cautiously excited to meet someone new and begin again by the end of Early Twenties Torture.